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The blood chills, then boils. Veins, bulging under pressure, creep in red tendrils onto the whites of incredulous, irate eyes.
A hand shakes as it holds a quivering phone. The news, shared in horror by The Independent, is simply too much to bear.
What? the target reader is, I think, expected to blast over their boiled eggs. Are these youths – these Gen Z reprobates – really being coached to use PHONES in SCHOOL?!!
“Get a grip!” the headline beseeches (one must assume) the teenagers, some of whom may reportedly be getting support to prepare for the phone call part of clearing.
“What hope have they got in the real world?” the writer despairs.
It will be a relief to cardiologists nationwide, then, to find out that not only are reports of schools implementing phone call lessons quite vague (Jo Saxton, the chief executive of UCAS, only said she was “aware” that “several” were on board with the scheme), but the idea actually seems pretty sensible too.
Stats suggest that 63% of us in the UK have experienced “phone fear”, while only 29% of us are under 25. (Not all of that 29%, you may be shocked to hear, experience “telephobia” – or a fear of phone calls – either).
Younger people do bear proportionally more of that anxiety, so surely that’s more of a reason to put the eminently reasonable plan of basic phone skills sessions in place?
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Speaking to The Times, Saxton explained that calls to UCAS have dropped by a third since 2019. “That is how difficult teenagers these days can find how to make a phone call,” she told the publication.
It seems quite practical to run mock phone interviews with them, then.
In the same Times article, James Johnstone, head teacher at Bacup & Rawtenstall Grammar School, said the phone call course his school devised also taught students how to hold a university interview, manage student loans, advocate for their rights as tenants, and cook healthy meals.
In that light, the programme seems like what that same writer eventually concedes it is: a sensible way to manage what she admits is a growing trend, and a good way to prepare students for that dreaded “real world” generally.
So why not make part of what is an often-stressful time for any young person (this, after all, is training to secure post-A-Level courses) a little easier and admit that, honestly, most of us could stand a refresher on how to talk to one another a little better?
If the undefined number of schools suspected of running these schemes want to continue to do hold phone call workshops, I say: hey, good for you (however many and wherever you may be).
